24 Alasan Cowo Menyayangi Cewek

 

1. Mereka selalu wangi, meskipun hanya wangi shampoo
2. Mereka selalu tahu di mana harus menyandarkan kepalanya di bahu cowok.
3. Cara mereka masuk ke dalam pelukan cowok dengan nyaman.
4. Cara mereka mencium cowok yang membuat dunia tampak jauh lebih indah.
5. Cara mereka makan begitu lucu.
6. Waktu berjam-jam yang mereka butuhkan untuk berdandan, dan ternyata hasilnya sangat mengesankan.
7. Mereka selalu hangat, meskipun udara di luar amat sangat dingin.
8. Mereka selalu tampak menarik, tak peduli baju apa pun yang mereka kenakan.
9. Cara mereka berusaha untuk dipuji.
10. Cara mereka berdebat begitu lucu.
11. Cara tangan mereka meraih tangan kita.
12. Senyum mereka.
13. Kita selalu merasa senang melihat ide-nya waktu menelepon kita, khususnya setelah kita bertengkar.
14. Cara mereka mengatakan, “Kita jangan bertengkar lagi, ya?” meskipun sejam kemudian…….
15. Cara mereka mencium saat kita berbuat baik pada mereka.
16. Cara mereka mencium saat kita mengatakan “Aku mencintaimu.”
17. Sebenarnya, cara mereka mencium kita, itu saja……..
18. Cara mereka jatuh ke dalam pelukan kita saat mereka menangis.
19. Cara mereka minta maaf karena menangis gara-gara hal sepele.
20. Cara mereka memukul kita dan mengharapkan kita kesakitan.
21. Lalu, cara mereka minta maaf kalau pukulannya memang menyakitkan (walaupun kita tak mau mengakui bahwa pukulannya memang
sakit).
22. Cara mereka mengatakan, “Aku kangen padamu.”
23. Cara kita merindukan mereka.
24. Cara mereka menangis, yang membuat kita ingin mengubah dunia agar mereka tidak terluka lagi.

Namun, sekalipun kita mencintai mereka, membenci mereka, mengharapkan mereka mati, atau kita akan mati tanpa mereka… tidaklah
jadi soal. Sebab, setelah mereka memasuki kehidupan kita, bagaimanapun orang lain memandang mereka, mereka adalah segalanya bagi kita.

Saat kita menatap mata mereka, menukik ke dalam jiwanya, dan kita mengatakan jutaan kata tanpa bersuara, kita tahu bahwa hidup kita
menghirup debaran jantung mereka.” “Kita mencintai mereka dengan sejuta alasan. hal itu bukan berhubungan dengan pikiran, melainkan dengan hati. Dengan perasaan. Hanya perasaan.”

“Jika cinta kita hanyalah keinginan untuk memiliki, hal itu tak bisa dinamakan cinta.”

 

***Dikutip dari Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul II***

COWOK GANTENG DAN COWOK JELEK

 

kalo cowok ganteng berbuat jahat
cewek-cewek bilang: nobody’s perfect
kalo cowok jelek berbuat jahat
cewek-cewek bilang: pantes…tampangnya kriminal

—————–

kalo cowok ganteng nolongin cewek yang diganggu preman
cewek-cewek bilang: wuih jantan…kayak di filem-filem
kalo cowok jelek nolongin cewek yang diganggu preman
cewek-cewek bilang: pasti premannya temennya dia…
————————————-

Kalo cowok ganteng pendiam
cewek-cewek bilang: woow, cool banget…
kalo cowok jelek pendiam
cewek-cewek bilang: ih kuper…

———————————

kalo cowok ganteng jomblo
cewek-cewek bilang: pasti dia perfeksionis
kalo cowok jelek jomblo
cewek-cewek bilang: sudah jelas…kagak laku…

——————————–

kalo cowok ganteng dapet cewek cantik
cewek-cewek bilang: klop…serasi banget…
kalo cowok jelek dapet cewek cantik
cewek-cewek bilang: pasti main dukun…

——————————–

kalo cowok ganteng diputusin cewek
cewek-cewek bilang: jangan sedih, khan masih ada aku…
kalo cowok jelek diputusin cewek
cewek-cewek bilang:…(terdiam, tapi telunjuknya meliuk-liuk dari atas ke
bawah, liat dulu dong bentuknya)…

—————————–

kalo cowok ganteng ngaku indo
cewek-cewek bilang: emang mirip-mirip bule sih…
kalo cowok jelek ngaku indo
cewek-cewek bilang: pasti ibunya Jawa bapaknya robot…

——————————-

kalo cowok ganteng penyayang binatang
cewek-cewek bilang: perasaannya halus…penuh cinta kasih
kalo cowok jelek penyayang binatang
cewek-cewek bilang: sesama keluarga emang harus menyayangi…

———————————

kalo cowok ganteng bawa BMW
cewek-cewek bilang: matching…keren luar dalem
kalo cowok jelek bawa BMW
cewek-cewek bilang: mas majikannya mana?…

——————————–

kalo cowok ganteng males difoto
cewek-cewek bilang: pasti takut fotonya kesebar-sebar
kalo cowok jelek males difoto
cewek-cewek bilang: nggak tega ngeliat hasil cetakannya ya?…

————————————

kalo cowok ganteng naek motor gede
cewek-cewek bilang: wah kayak lorenzo lamos …bikin lemas…
kalo cowok jelek naek motor gede
cewek-cewek bilang: awas!! mandragade lewat…

————————————-

kalo cowok ganteng nuangin air ke gelas cewek
cewek-cewek bilang: ini baru cowok gentlemen
kalo cowok jelek nuangin air ke gelas cewek
cewek-cewek bilang: naluri pembantu, emang gitu…

————————————

kalo cowok ganteng bersedih hati
cewek-cewek bilang: let me be your shoulder to cry on
kalo cowok jelek bersedih hati
cewek-cewek bilang: cengeng amat!!…laki-laki bukan sih?

—————————————–

Kalo cowok ganteng baca e-mail ini langsung ngaca sambil senyum-senyum
kecil, lalu berkata “life is beautifull”

kalo cowok jelek baca e-mail ini, Frustasi, ngambil tali jemuran, trus triak
sekeras-kerasnya “HIDUP INI KEJAAAAMMM….!!!”

Due To Credit Crunch, This is Your New Office (funny)

 

securedownload (63)

 

securedownload (64)

securedownload (65)

securedownload (66)

securedownload (67)

 securedownload (69)

 NEW OFFICE POLICYEFFECTIVE SEPTEMBER 1, 2008 

Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:

We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the ‘Chronic Offenders’ category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company’s mental health policy.

Lunch Breaks:

  1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Reasons Why I Never Visit My Very Rich Friend

Once while visiting a very rich friend, the maid approached me and…..

Question : “What would you like to have…? Fruit juice, Soda, Tea,
Chocolate, Capuccino, Frapuccino, or Coffee?”
Answer : ” Tea please”

Question : ” Ceylon tea, Indian tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush
tea, iced tea or green tea?”
Answer : ” Ceylon tea”

Question : “How would you like it? Black or white?
Answer : “white”

Question : “Milk, or fresh cream?
Answer : “With milk”

Question : “Goat’s milk, or cow’s milk”
Answer : “With cow’s milk please.

Question : “Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?”
Answer : “Um, I’ll just take it black.”

Question : “Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?”
Answer : “With sugar”

Question : “Beet sugar or cane sugar?”
Answer : “Cane sugar”

Question : “White, brown or yellow sugar?”
Answer : “Forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water
instead.”

Question : “Mineral water, tap water or distilled water?”
Answer : “Mineral water”

Question : “Flavored or non-flavored? “
Answer : ……………………………………”I think I’ll just die of thirst”